Independent women

Recently my husband and I watched the mini-series "Comanche moon." I was about frontier Texas. One thing that really got me thinking about our class during this show was when a shop girl named Clara was being courted. I thought she was cute and kinda spunky, but the guy who wanted to marry her got irritated with her. She had been giving him a hard time about if she would marry and who she would marry, and he said to her "You're so d***ed independent." And it was a bad thing for her to be independent. I was so shocked when that guy said it that I was literally sitting with my mouth hanging open.
I got to thinking about the social expectations of women. And one thing that really struck me is that women still aren't supposed to be independent. Although, I think it is not a blunt or blatant than it was in the mini-series. Women are expected to be in relationships, or at least pursuing a relationship. Some of the first questions that anyone, even other women, as a woman is Are you married? engaged? have a boyfriend?
I have noticed also that women who choose to be single for any amount of time, short or long, are viewed as if something is wrong. I am even guilty of this. In college, I had a friend who never had a boyfriend or even dated while we were at school. All of her friends, including me, were constantly trying to set her up with someone. We even talked about how it was weird for her not to want to be in a relationship. I feel guilty about it now, because I understand that priorities like school and even developing one's self-actualization can be much more important than a cheap card on Valentine's day.
In contrast to this, I noticed that men who are independent in this sense are not scrutinized. Men in college who had no desire to be in a relationship didn't get any sideways glances. They were almost congratulated for never being "tied down."
So why is it that over a hundred years later a woman's top priority should be getting married?