Thursday, January 31, 2008

Serenity and Cool Confidence

As I read all of the posts and materials for class, I become more informed and sensitive to daily discriminations that I overlooked/suppressed before. The section we just discussed about appearance standards was truly enlightening. When I am a licensed attorney and applying for employment/partnership, will I make the cut with my level of femininity and calm assertiveness? I am confident that I have all the tools necessary for success and am proud that the list of my qualifications exceeds the superficial realm of outward niceties.

I am not naive about the stereotypes that shape corporate america, and I am not deterred by the oppressive history and current realities before me. I am armed with invaluable knowledge, experience and strength. My inward peace and quiet assurance is found in God!!!! I am able to function productively in this world with an omniscient, infallible guide. (nudge, nudge-cue in the soothing, motivational music.)

Just to share my personal testimony of triumph: I began law school as an evening student in New Orleans in 2003-after being denied entry twice from another school. I had only been married 3 months, when in October I found out I was pregnant. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter in June 2004. By about Jan./Feb 2005, I found out that I was pregnant again. In August 2005 we experienced Hurricane Katrina and had to relocate. I visited SMU for a year as a transfer student and was denied admission when I applied to become a regular full-time student. I had my son in Nov. 2005 and applied to come to TWU the following semester. I will be graduating in May and my family will be there to share in this accomplishment. I was determined to finish my lifelong career choice of becoming a Lawyer. I also wanted a husband and at least two kids-and I have been blessed to pull that off too. Has it been easy-without challenges and doors closed?? Not at all-but the experience makes the journey that much more meaningful. As I wake up daily and get two little people ready for school before I get myself ready for school, I can smile and be proud of the life that I am living. When I am not at school, I am probably at church for rehearsal, Bible study or service. I sing and play the drums and my husband plays the organ/keyboard and is a minister. My children aspire to be great church leaders/participants and more. I am proud of my little family.

Well, I shared all of that to hopefully inspire and encourage some of the women that I know. As we endeavor to finish this class, semester and law school, know that you can do it. There were times when outer influences piled up and gave me a big 'QUIT' boost-but thank God I have internal peace, serenity and confidence that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. Also, I have a very supportive family pulling for me to make it. I am enjoying this class and learning different perspectives within the inescapable world of discrimination. I made the choice to have a family, finish school and progress in my ministries-and I pleased with the results thus far. Just know that while I am very quiet and often sleepy, I am at peace, I am confident, I am strong, I am more than a conqueror.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Walk a Mile in Women's Shoes

I recently watched a television program on gender-reassignment surgery. The program centered around several men who were undergoing surgery to become women. Although it wasn't the focus of the program, I found insight into their experiences in the world...first as men, then as women.
One story I found particularly relevant to our discussion of gender and law was from a man named Nick. He was a handsome man before he began taking female hormones - he then became a beautiful woman as well! Nick ended up changing his name to Christine. Before her reassignment surgery, she was a corporate attorney in a very successful law firm up north. Nick was married and had two young children. At some point, he decided to be his authentic self all the time and began making plans to become a woman. Although his wife supported his decision, they eventually divorced. Nick continued working at the law firm until he began taking female hormones. He then made a move to California to begin his life anew as Christine.
Christine was undoubtedly a tall female - but she didn't look as though she used to be a man. If I had seen Christine on the street I never would have guessed that she had been born male. Christine soon began to look for a job as an attorney doing the same type of work she had been doing in her previous job. One thing she was not prepared for was how the corporate world treats women.
Christine stated that even those who did not know she had previously been a man would attempt to talk her out of applying for a job at their firm, or simply tell her they were not interested. This was surprising because she told them of her extensive previous experience in the field. It was her opinion that these jobs were being refused to her because she was a woman. No law firm wanted to hire a woman - even though they did not come right out and say so.
The one statement that struck me most of all was made at the end of her story. Christine stated, "I had the world at my fingertips when I was a white male. Now that I am a woman simply proving my basic competency is a daily battle."
I hope that Christine will use her experience to educate others on the discrimination that still takes place against women (in the corporate world, especially). Christine ended up taking an entry level government job - for which she said she was overqualified.
I found great comfort in her story. I wish all men would walk a mile in women's shoes...though I fear most of them would break their ankles!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Women & the Right to Vote

I would have thought this was a dead issue everywhere except theocratic countries in the Middle East until I ran across this story about Mexico. It seems that the law passed 6 years ago that allowed indiginous people to preserve their traditional forms of government also preserved policies that barred women from voting.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Women CAN Have It All: A Meteorologist's Story

Today Prof. Seymore mentioned that one of her daughters dreams of being a meteorologist. It reminded me of a newspaper article that my mother recently sent me (my mother is a daily newspaper reader and often clips out stories that she thinks I'd like to read.) The title of this one is "KESQ Forecster finds life in LQ sunny and warm." It is about a woman who seemingly has it all, which ties into a class discussion we had last week about women bringing home the bacon and frying it, too. It appears that this is an example of a woman who truely does that. Ginger Jeffries is a television meteorologist in La Quinta, CA. She is 35 years old and has been working as a meteorologist on the local news for at least 7 years (exact time not specified.) She has two children, ages 5 and 7, whom she home schools. She does "regular" mom stuff like taking her kids to the park and to see Hannah Montana. She is also active in her church and community. On top of all this, she plans to earn a Ph.D in atmospheric science.

I often wonder whether we have to choose between being "Super Mom" and having a successful, serious career (judging "successful, serious" with the same measuring stick men use. I know, law students the world 'round recite, "What measuring stick? Define the standard." Ney. Stop being so analytical.) The point is, having it all is possible.

I hope this story makes us all feel a little "sunny and warm." After all the discussion and reading about clashes between women and the law/society, this story presents a positive model and hopefully will inspire optimism in us all.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Independent women

Recently my husband and I watched the mini-series "Comanche moon." I was about frontier Texas. One thing that really got me thinking about our class during this show was when a shop girl named Clara was being courted. I thought she was cute and kinda spunky, but the guy who wanted to marry her got irritated with her. She had been giving him a hard time about if she would marry and who she would marry, and he said to her "You're so d***ed independent." And it was a bad thing for her to be independent. I was so shocked when that guy said it that I was literally sitting with my mouth hanging open.
I got to thinking about the social expectations of women. And one thing that really struck me is that women still aren't supposed to be independent. Although, I think it is not a blunt or blatant than it was in the mini-series. Women are expected to be in relationships, or at least pursuing a relationship. Some of the first questions that anyone, even other women, as a woman is Are you married? engaged? have a boyfriend?
I have noticed also that women who choose to be single for any amount of time, short or long, are viewed as if something is wrong. I am even guilty of this. In college, I had a friend who never had a boyfriend or even dated while we were at school. All of her friends, including me, were constantly trying to set her up with someone. We even talked about how it was weird for her not to want to be in a relationship. I feel guilty about it now, because I understand that priorities like school and even developing one's self-actualization can be much more important than a cheap card on Valentine's day.
In contrast to this, I noticed that men who are independent in this sense are not scrutinized. Men in college who had no desire to be in a relationship didn't get any sideways glances. They were almost congratulated for never being "tied down."
So why is it that over a hundred years later a woman's top priority should be getting married?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Appearance and the restaurant industry

Okay, hopefully this isn't the worst first blog post in history. It's long, I apologize in advance!
I have been looking over the materials about discrimination based on appearance. The first thought that came to my mind was my first job. Let us briefly travel back through time: I applied at a Chili's that was going to open in my neighborhood in Arizona; I wore a respectable summer dress and made sure I looked extra tan, because this is what I valued at age 15. I ended up getting the job, even though I was painfully shy and applying for a hostess position--which required quite a bit of speaking! When we had our intensive grand opening training session, I looked at the other 8 hostesses as we were all lined up (and ogled), and they looked exactly like me. I'm kind of scrawny and these other hostesses were definitely in my boxing weight class. Even the one male host was noticeably slender.
Upon finding my interview polaroid, I later asked one of my female bosses why I ended up getting picked. She said basically because she thought I looked cute. Period, the end.

So I realize that Chili's is not exactly a beacon establishment, it's not even at the airline level of prestige, but this scenario is still kind of sad, considering how many of these restaurants dot our landscape. But back to my memory tangent: after about six months, a newly hired host was fired for "getting in the way," and he happened to be much larger than much of the employees. But this theme didn't go across the board: the male bartenders were not slim or toned, even in the vaguest sense, and they were "front of the house" employees. The management would always reiterate that we wanted the restaurant to attract people--but we were in mall-land, so was this really going to be a difficult endeavor? If each employee didn't fit the mold, would we be known as the "average Chili's," the one that nobody goes to because there is a hotter one in the next town? Did an employee's expanded waistline affect purchases of the trademark quesadillas? Considering our customer base of 30-something parents with children and the elderly clientele from the retirement communities, the answer seemed to be "not in the slightest."

So this is a meandering post, but I guess my question starts with: should these restaurants have this sort of license? Are they allowed a secret scorecard of attractiveness from 1-10? Is it justifiable in food service industries? Does the thought of working at a chain restaurant nauseate anyone else? I have many questions, actually.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Class Blog

This blog is a "team blog." The posters are all enrolled in my Women & the Law course at Texas Wesleyan Law School. We're going to use this blog to share our thoughts and insights on issues relevent to women & law.

Check back as the blog develops. Please note that each blog post expresses the thoughts of the individual author, and other team members may or may not agree. Nothing here carries the approval or endorsement of Texas Wesleyan University Law School. (Gotta do the CYA thing!)